Tag Archive
Monday Opinions: What’s Pissing You Off This Week
In a new recurring series that will run as long as we can be bothered with it, the Citizen went out and about in St Neots over the weekend to find out what is getting your backs up this week. Number one on your hitlist is still the debacle over the St Neots cinema. Despite... »
St Neots To Lose A1 Exit
Under a new ruling by the Government, following a “brilliant idea” from Brussels, St Neots is to lose one of its three A1 junctions in an attempt to reduce traffic. Local councils, backed by the Government, have long been fans of half-arsed schemes to reduce the number of cars on the road, such as pinch-point... »
Councillor Caught Thinking
In a Citizen exclusive we can reveal that local Councillor Terrence Dougall has been caught "thinking for himself." In a move that will shock many, not least his constituency party, Mr Dougall has finally followed through his intention to use his own brain for "working stuff out." Last week, in an unprecedented move, Mr Dougall... »
Lib Dems Secretly Win Secret Election
The Town Council's ruling Liberal Democrats were secretly celebrating this week after a secretive victory in a secret election. Van der Steven promised to be accessible to the people of Eynesbury via a premium-rate number. "It's a good plan this," he commented »
Multi-Storey Solution To Site Conflict
Following on from news that the super-surgery was looking at using the same site as the cinema, a compromise has been drawn up. The solution is to build a multi-story complex which combines both. A spokesman for the town council said, “When we heard that the NHS were looking at pinching our site we needed... »
Large Hadron Collider May Succeed Where AA Failed
Ten years ago the AA attempted to rid the world of St Neots by literally wiping it off the map. Fortunately, life does not immitate cartography and the town survived. However, now a new and much more real threat presents itself in the form of the Large Hadron Collider, or LHC. A group of Expert Scientists... »
New Houses “Might Mean More People”
Huntingdonshire District Council this week proposed another 5000 houses for St Neots, despite the fact that no-one is available to live in them. Development has already slowed on the Loves Farm development in the Far East section of the town, on account of nobody buying the houses. Larry Tate, spokesman for developers Slovis, said, “We’ve... »
KFC Rumours Renewed
A popular St Neots rumour, regarding KFC building a fast-food restaurant on the site of the Bell in Eaton Socon, has resurfaced in this weeks local press. Dale E. Goszyp, of the St Neots Chinese Whispers Distribution Depot, said, “We’ve been perpetuating this rumour for years, and decided it was time to start it up... »
St Neots Multi-Screen Has New Backer
In an amazing turn of events the doomed scheme to provide St Neots with a state of the art multi-screen cinema complex has been revived due to the interest of a major movie chain. “All Things Electrical (And Widescreen Cinemas) 2008 Ltd.” yesterday announced that they could provide, at no cost to the Town... »
fzk
network