Tag Archive
Residents Demand Name Change
Residents of St Neots second-newest estate, otherwise known as a development, Eynesbury Manor, are demanding a change of name for the area after homeowners and tenants on Cambridge’s Arbury Park achieved a similar victory. Not wishing to be associated with the notorious North Cambridge estate, a resident’s group on the new site, sandwiched between Kings... »
Monday Opinions: What’s Pissing You Off This Week
In a new recurring series that will run as long as we can be bothered with it, the Citizen went out and about in St Neots over the weekend to find out what is getting your backs up this week. Number one on your hitlist is still the debacle over the St Neots cinema. Despite... »
Eynesbury Razed To Ground While Cops Natter
Urban St Neots Eastside wasteland Eynesbury was set fire to last Monday evening. Beginning in a half full blue wheelie bin, the fire quickly took hold and burnt out the last 3 remaining working motors in Mallard Lane. From then on it was difficult to tell which was derelict property and which had been torched... »
“Eynesbury On The Up” Nothing To Do With George Clooney
St Neots Town Council today denied reports that the Eynesbury On The Up campaign was anything to do with stilts and Oceans Twelve. Recent advertisements for an event Ernulf this weekend say that “Eynesbury is on the up and local residents, with support from Luminus Group, are staging a day of fun and information for... »
“On The Up” Eynesbury To Be Twinned With St Tropez
The cohesive spirit of Europe has never been better exemplified than the twinning of the trendy new cosmopolitan Eynesbury with St Tropez, in the south of France. Councillors are eagerly packing their bags for the inaugural exchange visit, however the French contingent were apparently slightly less eager to board the plane. A representative of the... »
Sandbanks Now Rivalled by Eynesbury Riviera
Multi-million pound properties in the exclusive Dorset region of Sandbanks have been pushed into 5th place in the list of the world’s most expensive real estate by the current development on the Great Ouse East Bank. Even the most fervent supporters of St Neots lifestyle and living have been surprised at how exclusive these riverside... »
Hardwick Discovered Near 17th Hole
After a long search, mystery parish Eynesbury Hardwick has been discovered near the 17th hole at Abbottsley Golf Club. This came as a surprise to the establishment, who “always thought they were in Abbottsley,” and has upset local residents by further linking St Neots into Bedfordshire. Madcap local councillor Bob Farms recently made headlines by being... »
Farms Refuses To Reveal Mystery Parish Location
Madcap local councillor Bob Farms today refused to reveal the location of his mystery parish Eynesbury Hardwick. Despite signposts to Eynesbury Hardwick, it has long been believed that the area is fictional, much like Crosshall. However, in a statement today, former town council member Farms said, “Claiming that this parish is fictional is stuff and... »
Similar Town Sues St Neots
Wantage Town Council today issued a writ against St Neots, claiming that it breached copyright law by becoming a small market town outside a major university city. Wantage is around the same distance from Oxford as St Neots is from Cambridge, and as well as being a similar size both towns feature the presence of... »
Tesco “Still Not Mothership” Says Retailer
Supermarket giant Tesco today hit out at repeated claims that its St Neots store was “some kind of alien mothership”. Since this story was published in the Citizen six years ago, the chain has been dogged by claims of alien involvement. “This has simply got to stop,” said spokesman Ian Morrison. “Yes, I am well aware that... »
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