Tag Archive
Exclusive! Council Build Massive Bin
The St Neots Citizen can today reveal exclusively how HDC is planning on hitting its waste recycling targets for the next year. We gained access to a secret testing facility near Abbotsley, thought to be in Cllr Bob Farms’ mythical Eynesbury Hardwick parish, and managed to take a photo or two. It is thought that the... »
Leaked Report Reveals Nothing About Christmas Lights
A long-awaited report from the Health & Safety Executive regarding 2007's Christmas lights incident, in which a pedestrian was struck by half a ton of metal falling from above the High Street, contains absolutely no new information. The report, which the Council have been awaiting for a year now, was expected to conclude the H&SE's... »
Woolworths To Become New Shopping Concept
Word on the street in St Neots is that Woolies is to make way for an all-in-one shopping complex, the like of which the town has never seen. Beatty Broadband, of the Chinese Whispers Distribution Depot (now incorporating the St Neots Rumour Mill) limited, said that the company had been keeping a tab on all... »
62% Of Fog Stories “Utter Crap”
The recent foggy mornings in St Neots have led residents to spout the usual stories about what happened to them once in some really thick fog. However, a study by the Chinese Whispers Distribution Depot has revealed that 62% of these are completely fictional, and the rest are lavishly embellished. CWDD spokesman Beatty Broadband said, “As... »
KFC Rumours Renewed
A popular St Neots rumour, regarding KFC building a fast-food restaurant on the site of the Bell in Eaton Socon, has resurfaced in this weeks local press. Dale E. Goszyp, of the St Neots Chinese Whispers Distribution Depot, said, “We’ve been perpetuating this rumour for years, and decided it was time to start it up... »
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